WHAT IF J2M’S KIDS WENT TO SCHOOL TOGETHER?!

MATH CLASS

TEACHER: Count 1-10!
JENSEN’S SON: 1, 2, 10 *toothpaste ad smile*
JARED’S SON: 1, 2, and another, and another
WEST: There shall be no more numbers!

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(Source: mishasminions)

HALLOWEEN WITH J2M AND KIDS

other installments

WEST: What are you supposed to be?

JENSEN’S SON: A crazy person
WEST: How is that “crazy”?
JENSEN’S SON: I’m wearing clothes that don’t match and I didn’t brush my hair! Crazy scary, right?

WEST: You look normal to me.

JENSEN’S SON: Whatever, dude. Where’s your costume?

WEST: I’m wearing it
JENSEN’S SON: You’re wearing normal-people clothes
WEST: These jeans and dress shirt are not normal! Bright-colored dresses and clown make up are normal.
JARED’S SON: Hey guys!

JENSEN’S SON: Why do you have a pair of socks on your head?
JARED’S SON: I’m trying to cover up my antlers so I’ll look human.
WEST: Why are you on your knees?
JARED’S SON: So I’ll be human-sized.

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WHAT IF JENSEN’S SON, JARED’S SON AND MISHA’S SON ALL GREW UP TOGETHER?

*other installments

ON PLAYDATES

JENSEN: MISHA, TELL YOUR KID TO STOP SPRINKLING GLITTER ON MY KID
MISHA: IT’S PART OF WEST’S TRIBAL/FRIENDSHIP RITUAL
WEST: YOU ARE MAGIC NOW!
JENSEN’S SON: I’M A UNICORN?
WEST: NO! YOU’RE MAGIC!
JENSEN’S SON: YEAH THAT’S WHAT I SAID! I’M A BEAUTIFUL UNICORN!
WEST: MMMBOP DOO BEE DOO WAA PAPAPA DIPOP DOOYA UNGUNGUNG
JENSEN’S SON: *HEADBANGS*
JENSEN: WHAT’S WEST SINGING TO MY KID?
MISHA: THAT’S HIS MATING CALL
JARED’S SON: DAD! WHERE DID THE WORLD GO? IS IT NIGHT TIME?
JARED: TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE BUCKET!

IN SCHOOL

TEACHER: WHAT DOES A DOG SAY?

JENSEN’S SON: “LOOK AT ME! I’M A DOG! LOOK HOW CUTE I AM!”
JARED’S SON: “MEOW! OINK! OINK! MOOO!”
WEST: “WEST ANAXIMANDER COLLINS IS MY MASTER”

TEACHER: SHOW AND TELL!

JENSEN’S SON: *BLUE STEELS* THIS IS MY SEXYFACE
JARED’S SON: THESE ARE MY ANTLERS
MISHA’S SON: *GESTURES TO THE CLASS* THESE ARE MY MINIONS

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JENSEN, JARED AND MISHA WITH THEIR SONS

[This is a prelude to this post || other installments]

AT AGE 1

JENSEN: I TAUGHT MY SON HOW TO CRY PROPERLY. OKAY GO!
JENSEN’S SON: *CRIES ONE PERFECT TEAR*

JARED: I TAUGHT MY SON HOW TO MAKE PROPER NOISES
JARED’S SON: BARK!

MISHA: I TAUGHT MY SON HIS FIRST WORDS
WEST: WORLD DOMINATION!

AT AGE 3

JENSEN’S SON: THANK YOU FOR THIS KEN DOLL, DADDY
JENSEN: THAT’S NOT A KEN DOLL, THAT’S AN ACTION FIGURE OF ME

JARED’S SON: CAN WE PLAY MY FAVORITE GAME, DAD?
JARED: WHICH ONE?
JARED’S SON: THE ONE WHERE I GET TO TOUCH THE MOON.
JARED: OKAY GET ON MY SHOULDERS

WEST: DADDY, READ ME A BED TIME STORY
MISHA: OKAY, HOW BOUT, ‘PLEASE GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP’?
WEST: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME?
MISHA: THAT’S THE TITLE OF THE BOOK.

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MISHA HAS A SON. WHAT IF JENSEN HAS A SON AND JARED HAS A SON?

PRELUDE || other installments

..20 YEARS LATER

FIRST SCENARIO

WEST: WORLD DOMINATION!
JENSEN’S SON: I’M SO PRETTY
JARED’S SON: HEY GUYS HOW’S THE WEATHER DOWN THERE?

SECOND SCENARIO

JENSEN’S SON: My dad’s fangirls are stalking me
JARED’S SON: My dad’s fangirls keep giving me ornaments for my antlers
WEST: Why are you guys talking about my slaves?

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